Methinks that I have been over at Hamster Time too much. I haven't been updating! Or God forbid, I am actually working. Which I actually have been. Meds must me working.
They actually ARE working! I wasn't sure if they were doing what they are supposed to do, but I was only able to take 1/2 my normal dose yesterday and man I was FUCKED UP. All day. Until I went to Starbuck and got a mocha. Then I felt better. I guess the extra stimulants helped balance me out. Had I known that, I would have slammed a Red Bull. I miss my Two Red Bull A Day Makes Hammie A Happy Girl routine. HL went and picked up my RX for me yesterday so I am back on track. I was supposed to have an appointment with Doc D. to see how the meds are going, but both Boss' said no. I asked for the morning off so I wouldn't have to drive round trip downtown twice(since Doc D is near my house) and they said they couldn't spare me. So I have been really busy this morning right. Except not. I was frustrated about it yesterday but I am over it today.
I have lost 7 or so pounds in three weeks. I discovered that my meds are used for weight loss also so I am not freaking out too much of the extreme side effect of having NO appetite. I have taken to slamming protein shakes to make sure I am getting some nutrition. I have also been on the elliptical trainer for 45 mins, 4 or 5 days a week. It's fun watching the scale going down,down, down!
Testing for my high brown belt on Friday. I can't wait.
HammieLove and I had such a great talk last night. I don't know what it was or why last night, but we were able to really discuss how I was feeling when I left him and how he felt. He said that he felt like he was letting me down by not being "that guy" who wanted to get married right away. I made a "Five Year Plan" when I fell in love with him and it is not going the way I planned. I should be married by now according to my plan, but in reality, I wouldn't have it any other way and let him know that. We talked about marriage and getting engaged. I asked if he looked at rings on his own (since we went together on my birthday). He told me to ask Genny (who was my best friend). I told him that G told me he had put money down on one.
* HL stunned silence*
"She told you that? I told her not to tell you!"
*Hammie stunned silence*
"I thought she was lying."
I guess I was wrong! He said the plan is still the same, but the schedule has changed. I am okay with waiting . I definitely want it to happen after he feels more secure with me since my fuck-up. Which was not really a fuck-up just a fucking wake-up call (for both of us). He said that even though we were both miserable, he is glad that it happened because it has made us stronger. He said that I am different now and he thinks that the breakdown motivated me to get help.
I have never been so happy with where I am in life as I am right now. Life would just be perfect if I could have all my friends with me on the same page.
No word from Genny in months. She said "Don't bother" and I haven't. She is moving to NH in three weeks and I think that our friendship has died. A lot of people have told me that she is no good for me and I can see their point. That doesn't stop me from missing her though.
Que sera sera, right?
I am Happy Hammie right now and the whole world is the bright side. There are worse things to be right?
They actually ARE working! I wasn't sure if they were doing what they are supposed to do, but I was only able to take 1/2 my normal dose yesterday and man I was FUCKED UP. All day. Until I went to Starbuck and got a mocha. Then I felt better. I guess the extra stimulants helped balance me out. Had I known that, I would have slammed a Red Bull. I miss my Two Red Bull A Day Makes Hammie A Happy Girl routine. HL went and picked up my RX for me yesterday so I am back on track. I was supposed to have an appointment with Doc D. to see how the meds are going, but both Boss' said no. I asked for the morning off so I wouldn't have to drive round trip downtown twice(since Doc D is near my house) and they said they couldn't spare me. So I have been really busy this morning right. Except not. I was frustrated about it yesterday but I am over it today.
I have lost 7 or so pounds in three weeks. I discovered that my meds are used for weight loss also so I am not freaking out too much of the extreme side effect of having NO appetite. I have taken to slamming protein shakes to make sure I am getting some nutrition. I have also been on the elliptical trainer for 45 mins, 4 or 5 days a week. It's fun watching the scale going down,down, down!
Testing for my high brown belt on Friday. I can't wait.
HammieLove and I had such a great talk last night. I don't know what it was or why last night, but we were able to really discuss how I was feeling when I left him and how he felt. He said that he felt like he was letting me down by not being "that guy" who wanted to get married right away. I made a "Five Year Plan" when I fell in love with him and it is not going the way I planned. I should be married by now according to my plan, but in reality, I wouldn't have it any other way and let him know that. We talked about marriage and getting engaged. I asked if he looked at rings on his own (since we went together on my birthday). He told me to ask Genny (who was my best friend). I told him that G told me he had put money down on one.
* HL stunned silence*
"She told you that? I told her not to tell you!"
*Hammie stunned silence*
"I thought she was lying."
I guess I was wrong! He said the plan is still the same, but the schedule has changed. I am okay with waiting . I definitely want it to happen after he feels more secure with me since my fuck-up. Which was not really a fuck-up just a fucking wake-up call (for both of us). He said that even though we were both miserable, he is glad that it happened because it has made us stronger. He said that I am different now and he thinks that the breakdown motivated me to get help.
I have never been so happy with where I am in life as I am right now. Life would just be perfect if I could have all my friends with me on the same page.
No word from Genny in months. She said "Don't bother" and I haven't. She is moving to NH in three weeks and I think that our friendship has died. A lot of people have told me that she is no good for me and I can see their point. That doesn't stop me from missing her though.
Que sera sera, right?
I am Happy Hammie right now and the whole world is the bright side. There are worse things to be right?
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