Tuesday, June 29, 2004

I got the most touching letter from my step-dad yesterday.

A little background on my family...my step-dad is an asshole. I had accepted his asshole-ness as a child, working as hard as I could to get out of my house. There were moments in my life where we would get along rather well. We would watch action movies, the A-Team, he taught me how to cook. I knew I was his favorite but all of the illusions of happy family were shattered during the times he would lose his temper and smack me in the face or the one time he pinned me against the kitchen counter with his hands around my neck. (blah blah blah dysfunctional childhood cakes).

I left my house second semester of my senior year. My SD had been making comments to me that I found ianppropriate (lewd ones). I think now that he was playing at me like an adult but the comments were odd ones to say to your 17 year old stepdaughter, who you had raised since she was 5.

So 7 years have gone by since I moved out. I didn't talk to my mom for three of those years. I have a good relationship with her now but the relationship with SD has been strained. He has calmed down some but I ignore him when he gets belligerent anyway. He can't touch me now. We talk about mundane and safe things and he is still the guy I call when my check engine light went on or when I can't remember how long to cook the meatloaf.

I have been begging SD to give me his Smith and Wesson 9mm handgun. He has like 13 and the 9 doesn't take the bullets he reloads without jamming. I love shooting it when I go up there and I am really comfortable with that gun. I asked my mom about it after Father's Day (which I sent him a nice BBQ basket for). She called me later and said he was sending me a letter.

I got the letter yesterday. It gave me instructions on how to get my Handgun Safety Certificate so he can transfer ownership. (yay) Then he went into how things are going with my older deadbeat sister. He said that somehow he gets the blame for everything that went wrong in our lives. (He was a problem but definitely not to blame. Everybody chooses their own path in life. I chose to rise above any abuse, my sister did not. The only thing my childhood is responsible for is making me a stronger person.) Then he went on to say that life doesn't come with instructions and he is sorry for any mistakes that he made. He said that he is proud of what I have made myself and proud to call me daughter.



So that was pretty cool. Especially from someone whose favorite line was "You're not my kids."

I had a good night last night. I am getting a gun, I got approval that I thought I would never get, and I learned the rest of my form in Tae Kwon Do. Which is still kicking my ass.

I will go lift weights tonight. I have slacked off majorly since I dislocated my shoulder (in January!). I am so weak in the arms it is ridiculous. So off to the gym! Three days a week! Dammit!


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Mandy, that was such a nice letter to receive, I am sure.
The gun thing scares me though. BE CAREFUL!

8:07 AM  
Blogger Hammie said...

Mama Grace,

Don't be scared! My stepdad is a retired LA County Sheriff Deputy. I have been raised around guns and am VERY safe with them. It won't be loaded in house! :)

I'll be careful, I promise.

9:22 AM  

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