Thursday, August 12, 2004

I went to talk to my old instructor yesterday. Well, he didn't yell. He took me back in the office, left the door open and asked if he could respond to my complaints. He said that he shouldn't have yelled when Dez came to the studio that one time. He said that Chris (my old instructor) had medical insurance and was not supposed to ask the students for prescriptions and that he was popping pills like candy. He said that he should NOT have told Ingrid (my firned that he yelled at) about the pills. He said that the only swearing that he did at Ingrid was say "Fuck it." when he was walking out the door. He said that she called him a liar and that made him angry because he has never lied to anyone in his life. (I stopped him and said," I call bullshit. You NEVER lied to ANYONE. That's a lie. Everyone has lied to someone." He deflected that and moved on.) He said that he didn't lose Swiftkick. He said these kids were teasing the Swiftkick kids and when they went to leave, he put his hands on their shoulders and one of them "fell."

I told him that he places himself on a pedestal and it is a long way to fall when things go wrong. I said that you can't continually lose self control, apologize for it and expect everything to be okay. It comes to a point where the apology doesn't mean jack. I said that if a student had acted the way he did when he yelled at Dez, he would have gone ballistic on the student. I told him the way that he handled Chris leaving was unprofessional and that he didn't give Chris the respect that he deserved after working there for as long as he did for not a lot of money. I called him on when Dez hurt her ankle and he didn't want her to file worker's comp. He said that he wanted to send her to the doctor on his insurance and pay for it. Which is a lie. He intimidated Dez into not going to the doctor. I was THERE for that and he still lied to my face.

Then I told him I was late for class and I had to go. I told him I wanted to leave on good terms because I have friends who are testing for their black belts and I want to be there. He said that we weren't done talking yet, there was no closure. I have closure. I told him that there was nothing that he could say that would change my mind.

One of my other friends that is a candidate told me that if I had gone to black belt camp, I would have a different opinion of them. She said that he opened up about a lot of things and was really vulnerable to them. I told her I would have applauded his performance. The man has a DEGREE in theater, for god's sake! Last night, I could see the rage behind the mask and I KNOW he wanted to scream. I am a trained actress. I can recognize a good character when I see one. I am sure that there is a good man in there somewhere, but he is buried under layers and layers of ambition and greed.

HL said he couldn't believe some of the things I said. I am not intimidated by him anymore. I also think that he is a liar and refuses to accept responsibility for anything that goes wrong in his life.

I was late to class so I just used an open floor to work on white belt stuff. I finished my white belt form. It only took me about an hour total to learn it so I am starting to feel a little more optimistic about catching on to this new style.

Beginner class tonight, and since I missed advanced class last night, I might double up tonight.


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