Thursday, December 11, 2003

I am tired today. Wanna know why? My new boyfriend. No, no, HammieLove hasn't gone anywhere. In fact, he even got in on the action last night. I got Disc 2 of Season One of Alias and I have to say that I am officially addicted. I ran across the recap on TwoP and wondered what all the fuss was about. I caught the season premiere this fall and it was all over. Hello, my name is HammieR and I am an Aliasholic.

How much does Syd kick ass? How cute is Will? I luuurve me some SpyDaddy! I stayed up until 11:30 last night watching my DVD. I watched THREE episodes in one night. I am sick and my only cure is NetFlix continuing to send me Season 1 and Season 2. I read all the recaps catching me up on what has happened in S3. And I have to wait til JANUARY to get another new episode?!? Ah, at least I will have caught up by then.

(And Bob help me, I started with S1 of Smallville and the Sopranos. I am truly sick and addicted to the Flix.)

My sick pleasures aside, HammieLove and I went out to Chili's last night. Atkins kind of went AWOL once I was confronted with Southwestern Egg Rolls. Yummy. I had the Atkins friendly Lettuce Wraps for dinner though, so I wasn't so bad.

I love that I can talk to HL about everything. I was telling him about how I have been kind of down lately. I am the most Christmas-y person I know. My apartment is a mini Griswold house. I constantly blow fuses! I need my tree the weekend after T-Giving every year. The inside of my house looks like an elf exploded inside. Get the picture?
As of today, the lights on the house are only have done. I have my tree, but only the lights are on it -- no ornaments. And to be honest with you? I don't really feel like doing anything about it. I had been doing pretty good about keeping up the house, but this week it has been a disaster.

HL asked what I thought was wrong. I didn't really want to tell him because I didn't want to make him feel bad. He really wanted to know, so I told him. The sappy jewelry commercials KILL me. I just don't understand why I am not engaged yet. It has been almost 5 years and everyone I know around me is getting engaged or married. Most of them have been together a lot less time than HL and I have been. He said that he wanted to do it at Christmas, but we didn't have the money for a ring right now. I understand this to a point, but I also have a real problem with that excuse. He got his $5000 bonus last month and was supposed to use part of that for a ring. Instead, we bought the RV and put $2000 down on his motorcycle. Now, he worked hard for that bonus and it is his money and he could do what he wanted with it, but COME ON. I know I am not going to be an old maid at 23 but I do have goals and plans for my life. I just wished he could understand that this is really hurting my heart.

I don't know if this is the entire reason for my blues since depression runs in my family, but it was nice to get it off of my chest.


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