REACTIONS

American Idol
*gasp* YAY!!!

LOST
*gasp* Arrrgggghhhh!

Alias
*gas--wait, haven't finished watching it yet.

Now what am I going to watch and obsess over this summer? Beauty and the Geek? Dancing with the Stars?

Sunday at the Faire

Meg and I headed out to Irwindale, CA for the last day of the Renaissance Faire. It was in a new location this year (meaning, of course, that we got lost), the Santa Fe Dam Rec Area, which was a vast improvement from last year. After we figured out where we were going, I realized that this was the area where I lived from when I was a baby until my mom married my dad when I was five. My bio father used to have him company picnics at the Santa Fe Dam, so the whole day was kind of nostalgic.

Meg had been to a couple of smaller Ren Faires before but I don’t think she was quite prepared for the depraved debauchery that is EXTREMELY prevalent among the Faire folk. This was evidenced by the look of horror on her face when one of the old men tried to "poke the dots" on her polka dot jumper. I had to keep telling her to relax and just play along. It’s all just harmless fun and I ALWAYS have tons of fun. I was making friends left and right. We got lots of hugs and had pirates kissing our hands (and whipping our bottoms! *sigh* I love the Faire…)

Things felt a little different this year. I don’t know if it was because it was the last day, a new location, or if it was because I am used to going with my group from high school. My friends from school actually worked at the Faire, so they definitely embraced the whole experience. That always made it so much more fun. Halfway through the day, Meg wanted to go home. I kind of had to force her to stay so I could see my favorite shows, Broon and Moonie. I think though, that all in all, we had a good time.

It was a bittersweet day for me because it reminded me of a good friendship that has been lost and set me on a path that moves me away from someone I was. There is no one in my life that recognizes that girl anymore and it stings a little bit to leave her behind.

Such is life, no?

On the bright side, I did run into some members of my old group from high school, Dave and Mike, when we stopped in my hometown for food. I haven’t seen them since Faire last year and it was cool to talk to them. Funny how old friends can soothe the soul! They definitely chased away any blue feelings I was having.

All in all, a great weekend!

*WHEW*

I am so relieved right now that I could cry. As I mentioned last week, my boss was in China on business for 6 days and I had to cover for him. This man is the busiest man on the planet and I had no idea HOW I was going to do his job and mine. We were slammed all week and I was tearing my hair out trying to keep up. I was totally freaked out on Friday because I was sure that there was something that I missed or messed up and I was just sure that he was going to yell at me when I came in this morning. I even came in early because I wanted to get it over with before the whole office was in.

I walk in and he smiles and says, " Good morning! How are you?" and that was about it. He is in a totally good mood, telling us about his adventures in China. I even went in and asked if anyone had called with issues and I told him about a couple of pricing issues that he might be worried about and he said, " Don’t worry. You did great. Good job!"

*whew*

At my last job, every time one of the boss’ came back from vacation, I got read the riot act for missing something, no matter if I was coming in early, staying late, working my ass off to try and keep up. I never felt like I did a good enough job, even when the boss’ were there, which is why I eventually left. It is so refreshing to have a boss that trusts me and appreciates me. I love my job!

This weekend was awesome. I went out on Friday night with a crowd from the karate studio to celebrate a birthday. We went to a place that does karaoke. Sensei was buying everyone drinks and all the boys got up and sang "I’m Too Sexy." It was freakin’ hilarious. The girls—The Black Belt Beauties, if you please—sang a couple of songs, dancing around on stage and acting crazy in general. I got a little trashed between a couple martinis and countless lemon drops. I was rescued again by Jimmie and Reggie Rae, who were my champions and rescuers when my car got towed a little while ago. They drove me home again on Friday.

Saturday morning made me realize that Lemon Drops are the devil incarnate. I can count on my fingers the times that I have ever had a hangover, and those times are usually after 10 shots of tequila. I was in PAIN on Saturday. Headache, stomachache, the works. Of course, joy of all joys, I had a SIX HOUR seminar that I had to be at. Fortunately the gods invented Pepto Bismol for mornings like this and I started feeling human before the seminar started at nine.

We were taught how open hand and weapon techniques by a master in Jeet Kune Do, which is the art that Bruce Lee trained in. This guy has actually trained with all the students that Bruce Lee trained personally. He was a total wealth of knowledge and a very nice guy. He made a speech about how refreshing our studio was because of the respect and politeness that every student showed. It made almost all of us get choked up with pride when he was making this speech. I love my school.

He also told me I was pretty and he liked my dimples. That made me blush.

Coming up next…A Sunday at the Renaissance Faire!

Was it just me or were the jobs for The Apprentice a little "girly" this year? Well suited for whoever won but still a little girly. Congrats to kendra, who TOTALLY deserved it.

Oh, and Tana? SHUT. UP.

Very busy today but I am super glad that it is Friday. My studio is having a seminar run by Bob Suttles, who is a master martial artist. He has trained with everyone that Bruce Lee ever trained (not sure if he trained with Bruce himself...). From what I have heard, he is awesome so I definitely looking forward to it.

Faire on Sunday...I am so excited. Meg wants us to dress as something...not Renaissance...but something. I have no idea what she is talking about but I sure that it is interesting!

Have a good weekend!

ALL IN THE SPY FAMILY

Can I just say that

LENA OLIN ROCKS!

When I saw her name in the guest star credits at the beginning of the episode, I started bouncing up and down, going *EEEEEE!* and waving my arms around. I actually hit myself in the head. For real, I have a bruise.

Alias rocked so hard last night, I can't even believe it. They need to pay Lena WHATEVER she wants and give her whatever she wants because she brings so much to the show. I love her chemistry with everyone on the cast.

This totally makes up for having to deal with that COW, Lauren, last season.

I am in a Alias-induced bliss right now.

Now if only everyone at work would cooperate and leave me the hell alone. :)

Naima won America's Next Top Model. I can live with that.

Oh, and in more fanwanking, J.J. Abrams is GOD. Lost rocked last night too.

*sigh* TV Heaven...

I wrote this last year and just saw it linked on someone else's blog. It is still me to a tee and I thought I would post it again...maybe someone else will identify.

Wednesday, August 18, 2004
Touch me.

I am a very tactile person. I like touching, being touched. Some of my strongest memories are of the FEEL of something, like the cold ridges of the kitchen tile at my grandma’s house and the way it felt on my feet when I would stand in front of the space heater every morning, warming up before breakfast. I would probably recognize that tile pattern in another place if I walked on it barefoot, but I doubt I could identify it by sight.

I constantly twirl my hair. Long, thick, shiny and smooth. I have chestnut brown hair and have spent the last couple of years returning it to it’s natural color after I spend three or four years as a blond. At this time there are no chemicals at all in my hair and it is so soft as a result. I twirl it through my fingers like a valley girl with OCD. It annoys some, fascinates and mesmerizes others, and offers me comfort like nothing else on earth. I tried to curb the habit by using smooth stones to rub, but I love to pet my own hair.

The touching thing has actually gotten worse since I started my meds. I don’t know if I am just more aware of it since my brain isn’t as jumbled but I am driving myself mad.

Touch me.

I could lie for hours having my hair petted, pulled, played with. Being kissed, touched on the lips, the nape of my neck, the hollow of my throat, the spot where the collarbone meets the shoulder, the flat part of my hip.

I know this sounds sexual, but it’s not about sex. It’s about stimulation.

Heaven for me would be a vast wonderland of textures and no clothing required. Warm and fuzzy furs, suede, corduroy, cotton. Cold steel, smooth silks and thick pile carpeting that tickles your toes when you sink in. Fields of grass that won’t make you itch covered with every kind of blanket imaginable. Nothing feels better than lying on a blanket with blades of grass cushioning you and crunching beneath you while the sun bathes you with warm light.

One of my favorites spots on the human body is the little place right below your anklebone, almost on the side of your heel. That place has been soft and smooth on every person I have ever checked.

Go on, check. Then come sit on the couch with me and let me pet your feet.

Touching can be dangerous though.

One of my clients had on a crisp, white cotton dress shirt at the baseball game Monday night. I was itching to pet him all night, which I don’t think my boss or his girlfriend would have appreciated. I didn’t want to fuck him; I just wanted to touch his shirt, smooth out that cotton of the flat plane of his chest. People might confuse the desires or think they are the same, but they aren’t.

Am I oversexed? Well, yeah.

But that’s a whole ‘nother issue.

I love kneading my toes into my neighbor’s area rug because it tickles my feet, but I don’t want to fuck the rug. Get my point?

I wonder if this what a cat feels like when they are meowing for attention and entangling themselves in your legs. Pet me and I’ll arch my back like a cat, I might even purr. Hell, I’ll curl up on your lap and keep you warm at night.

Pin me to the cool white wall, hot bare skin pressed against the rough denim of your jeans, the metal zipper pressed against my tummy, the buttons of your shirt pressing a trail up my torso. Lie with me, fingers intertwined, legs entangled, hard masculine strength with soft feminine silk. Slide with me between satin sheets, letting the current of the fan flow over us, causing my hair to tickle your chest.

I feel like I am locked in a cage of sensuality, trapped, not by bars, but by a billion nerve endings that are simultaneously crying out for contact. I think I could handle it if this was all about sex, but how do I deal with basic human need for touch?

I just need that touch a little longer. The nibble to be a bite. The pull a little harder.

My need will never be satisfied. There will never be enough.

You can consider yourself warned though.

Because if we ever see each other, face to face…

You can tell me to keep my hands to myself.

I started reading a really good book last night. It is called Invisible Monsters and the author is the same guy that wrote Fight Club (which was a book first? Had no idea...) This book is twisted, witty, entertaining and very thought provoking. A definite departure from the historical romances that I have been stuck on lately. I think the historical romances were getting me in the mood for...

Ren Faire! *yay*

Meg and I are heading to the Faire on Sunday and I am so excited! It is in a new place this year, with grass and trees (as opposed to dirt and well, dirt). The Faire has some bittersweet memories for me, so I am glad that it is in a new place. Less painful that way. I was going to rent a costume but Meg and I decided to just go in street clothes. It is going to be a ton of fun. I can't wait.

In other good news this week, HammieLove is fixing the CV joints on my car tomorrow. My poor Echo has been growling like a monster for YEARS -- though I, being the chick that I am, thought it was just normal road noise. HL said I am lucky that my tires didn't fall off. It will be interesting to hear what my car is SUPPOSED to sound like.

I have finally been able to use my legs a little bit in training. My physical therapist says that I should be ready to go soon. I feel a lot stronger and even when my leg is hurting, it is nowhere near as bad as it could be. The guys at Project Athlete are miracle workers!

One of our girls is going to be in a HBO documentary about female kickboxers. They were filming at the studio on Saturday. Lindsey (who is a world champion fighter and beautiful to boot) will be profiled up until the World Championships (29 days!). She totally deserves this. We are all very excited for her.

And the director told me I was beautiful. *blush* That made my day because I haven't been feeling beautiful lately.

Boss is out of town for the week and it has been predictably busy. We are hanging in there though.

Can I say that I am happy that Tom won Survivor? Definitely the most deserving winner ever.

And though I LOVE Carrie, I think Bo might have won AI last night with that a cappella performance. That was awesome.

Till later...

Miscellany

Okay, so I was bummed that Rob and Amber didn't win the Amazing Race. I thought that they deserved to win based on the way that they raced but Uchenna and Joyce deserved it for their heart and perseverance. Besides, they are going to use the money to start a family. I think that this race meant so much more to them than being a reality TV celebrity -- they had a higher purpose from the beginning. So congrats to them.

Thank God Anthony Federov is gone. I think he needs to audition for the part of Mark in RENT. He would be perfect for it and I would buy tickets to see him in it. I still have Carrie for the win.

My fave girl was voted off America's Next Top Model. Bye, Brittany! Now I think I have to go with Naima.

Lots of other things going on besides catching up on my "Now Playing" list on TiVo. Still training hard, as hard as I can, but my physical therapist benched me for two weeks because of my leg. One more week left then back to hardcore training.

Work is great. Boss is going to China for a week so I expect chaos next week. I love chaos.

Saw the end to a high speed chase yesterday. Wasn't a good end of the guy. That's what you get when you run out of your car with a gun, jackass. *sigh* Will people ever learn? And I am sure that there is going to be outrage because the cops shot the fucker. I'll throw my hat in the ring and applaud the police for doing the right thing. Good job, officers.

Sorry for being choppy. A little under the weather again. AGAIN. *grr*

Back to work....

May Gray

It’s that time in Southern California when every day is gray and gloomy. It is still warm, granted, but there is no sun. I miss the sun. *sigh* The weather is subdued and so am I.

42 days until World Championships. I am back to training 6 days a week. Maybe that is why I am subdued. I am TIRED. Having a lot of fun but tired. I am very excited to be learning a sai form. Sais are the weapons that Elektra uses, the three pronged dagger. I have learned my entire form and now I’m working on getting it tournament ready. It is super cool and I feel powerful when I do it.

I have been fighting more often and enjoying it a lot more, even when I get my ass kicked. Funny what a little third place trophy will do for your confidence… I have decided to add continuous fighting to my repertoire along with point fighting. I never liked continuous before and am still a little scared because I tend to have asthma related issues but I really want to fight. (This is such a different attitude for me! I still amaze myself.)

The IIMA World Team is fortunate enough to have had a really awesome resource move in right next door. Project Athlete is a company run by two physical therapists that specialize in sports specific athletic training. Their motto is "Great athletes aren’t born, they are trained." They have all this high tech equipment that measure how strong you are, how flexible and that track the biomechanics of your movements. They use all the information to discover how you can be faster, stronger, and more agile. I decided to do private sessions because of all my injuries, as opposed to the group deal that they offered. After my evaluation, this is what my trainer says to me:

"We’ve got our work cut out for us."

Nice.

The great news about this is that he thinks that a lot of my leg and back problems stem from my feet. I guess they angle in, which is called pronating (I think.) They can focus on fixing my feet and legs and hopefully the other problems I have will go away. I am really excited about the possibilities with these guys.

Work is great. Home is greater. HammieLove is the greatest!

Life is good.

What about you? Leave me a comment and make me feel good about myself!