What a ho-hum day.

I have spent all of two hours at my desk today. BossMan had like six recordings go down today. Today being the day of the Holiday Bowl parade. The parade being the one with the big balloons that begin their trek from in front of the County Administration Building. The County Administration Building being the place that I needed to be. Getting into the parking lot was like trying to get into Fort Knox. I practically had to promise my first born in order to prove that I had business there, instead of being a spectator trying to park there for the parade. And of course, I was done 5 minutes before the parade started, so I didn't get to see any of it. *pouts* I like parades. Since I go to the desert every year now for New Year's, I never get to see the Rose Parade anymore. *ponders* I wonder if the little antenna we have on the RV will pick up the parade? That would be great! :)

So we are broke again. I went on a little spree with my sister on the day after Christmas and HammieLove is NOT happy with me. I promised to be good now, but we are pretty broke until mid-January. And I need to register my car. *sigh*

On the bright side, I am feeling much more chipper than I have in the past month. I am really glad that Christmas is over. Even being broke, I am in a pretty good mood. I am feeling optimistic about the New Year. I am going to pay off a couple of credit cards with my tax return, really stick to a budget, and try to get things rolling on buying a condo.

Tomorrow is due to be hectic, so Happy New Year to my blogging friends! Hope you have a safe and wonderful time!

Merry Christmas to one and all. Broadcasting to you live from beautiful Tucson AZ.

All in all, Christmas has gone well. I got sick the Sunday after the Christmas party and I am still sick. The 8 hour drive from San Diego to Arizona was greeeaaat. Heh.

My sister's in-laws are total freak and there were 25 total people at the house today. The pile of presents was unbelievable! You could not even see the tree. To say that it was overkill would be a severe understatement. The kids had a blast though and that is what Christmas is all about, right?

I am afraid that this post is not going to be very entertaining due to my lack of mental clarity because of this damn head cold.

HammieLove's ex-girlfriend was here today. It was a lot less awkward than I thought it was going to be. I really tried to make it less awkward. It was hard, since wherever HL was, THERE she was. I somehow got to thinking about the fact that she was the last person that he slept with before me, which made it harder to keep being smiley and friendly, but I kept on plugging.

On the bright side, I got a $500.00 Christmas Bonus!

Hello to all you little Hammies in HammieLand! I would like to dedicate a wonderful little ditty done by our own GreenTuna. Enjoy!

Too frickin' funny Tuna! Some of your best work...

Today I was at the trolley station on 5th and C and I see this black couple fighting (not that race really has anything to do with it for me, but it will matter later...). I was watching like everyone else when the guy jumped at the girl and started to strangle her. A female friend that was with them stepped in and was pushing him away, but she was a lot smaller than him and he was basically running over her. Everyone just stood there and watched, so I dropped my stuff and ran over and stepped in. I just told him to calm down and told her to stop provoking him. He eventually walked away. It was scary!

So I was telling my friends at the Recorder's office about this, and Eshawn (who is black) asked if they were white or black. He said that I was nuts to step in. A lot of people said that they would never step in. Was I so wrong? I know I should have called 911, but he could have really hurt her if I had waited. I figured with my martial arts traing, I would have been able to handle myself if he had turned.

I think that I pissed off my friend Jason because he said that he wouldn't step in even if he was hitting her. I told him that if my boyfriend didn't say something or didn't try to protect the woman, I would leave him. Standing up for someone is the right thing to do.

HammieLove said that he would have done the same thing, but that it was dabgerous and I was lucky that I didn't get hurt. Everyone else said I was lucky I didn't get shot. I said that if I died standing up doing something that was the right thing to do, then I was meant to come to that end. Fear is not going to keep me from doing the right thing. I guess my thinking on it is that if I was getting beat, I would want someone to step in and help me. Eshawn calls me Captain Save-A-Ho. What would you do? Email me @ leeam@ctt.com

On the bright side, I got all my packages shipped off. Only Mom, Stepdad, and HammieLove to shop for. :) Yay me.

All I want for Christmas is a nervous breakdown.

I don't understand why this Christmas is so difficult! It shouldn't be. I have almost all of my Christmas shopping done, everything is wrapped. My Christmas party dress and HammieLove's suits will both be done with their alterations today. Flights have been booked, travel has been planned, chocolate has been eaten, yet I am still beyond stressed. I almost (translated: did) brokedown last night because the kitchen was a mess and the outside lights won't work. I went for my final fitting on my dress and came back to HL sitting in the front yard with his tools, trying to fix the lights. Aw. We didn't get them all fixed, but some. I will try to do the rest tonight.

This season is weird for me because I always saw my mom getting depressed around the holidays. She would shut down. I was always the one keeping the family together, decorating the tree and baking cookies. I thought that I would never get like that and now I feel the exact same way. My mom was diagnosed with SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder). I don't think that I am that bad, but I wish I was happier.

On a lighter note, there is a ton of chocolate in my office! Everywhere I turn, CHOCOLATE! Bad for my waistline, good for my PMS. BTW, the Atkins diet went out the window. That is an impossible way to live! I think I kind of gave into the sweet tooth until after the holidays. This way I don't feel guilty if I eat a cordial cherry (yum!). I am surrendering to the sweet tooth. As long as I can fit into my pants come January, I am happy.

I am little peeved at both my sister and my best friend right now. I ordered some gift certificates from my sis since she was doing a fundraiser for her daughters' school. This was three weeks ago. I have to send said GC to Oregon by Christmas. I called her to check the status on them last night and her response was, "Oh, I didn't check on them today." DIDN'T CHECK? If I had gotten an answer like that from a normal retailer, I would have cancelled the order and gotten my money back. She just sounded like she didn't care. I was so pissed that I threw my phone across the room. Then, I talked to my BFF, and asked her to swing by here on Wednesday to pick up her Chrsitmas presents for her and the family. She has to pass my house anyway on the way to her mom's and it would save me the money in shipping. She said that she can't because she is traveling with the baby alone and she wakes up when the car stops. Okay, I don't have kids or anything, but that sounds really lame. What do you do if you get stuck in traffic, or at stop signs? She could leave the car running and grab the box. But NO, I have to ship it instead of inconveniencing her with a 2 minute STOP. Grrrr. I was planning on shipping them anyway, but it pissed me off that I went through the trouble of shopping and all and she can't just stop. I know that they aren't giving Christmas presents because they just had the baby (or birthday presents for that matter) and I don't mind, but couldn't she at least stop for her presents? Apparently not. So I will send off the box today at lunch, thank you very much. Ho frickin ho.

I am tired today. Wanna know why? My new boyfriend. No, no, HammieLove hasn't gone anywhere. In fact, he even got in on the action last night. I got Disc 2 of Season One of Alias and I have to say that I am officially addicted. I ran across the recap on TwoP and wondered what all the fuss was about. I caught the season premiere this fall and it was all over. Hello, my name is HammieR and I am an Aliasholic.

How much does Syd kick ass? How cute is Will? I luuurve me some SpyDaddy! I stayed up until 11:30 last night watching my DVD. I watched THREE episodes in one night. I am sick and my only cure is NetFlix continuing to send me Season 1 and Season 2. I read all the recaps catching me up on what has happened in S3. And I have to wait til JANUARY to get another new episode?!? Ah, at least I will have caught up by then.

(And Bob help me, I started with S1 of Smallville and the Sopranos. I am truly sick and addicted to the Flix.)

My sick pleasures aside, HammieLove and I went out to Chili's last night. Atkins kind of went AWOL once I was confronted with Southwestern Egg Rolls. Yummy. I had the Atkins friendly Lettuce Wraps for dinner though, so I wasn't so bad.

I love that I can talk to HL about everything. I was telling him about how I have been kind of down lately. I am the most Christmas-y person I know. My apartment is a mini Griswold house. I constantly blow fuses! I need my tree the weekend after T-Giving every year. The inside of my house looks like an elf exploded inside. Get the picture?
As of today, the lights on the house are only have done. I have my tree, but only the lights are on it -- no ornaments. And to be honest with you? I don't really feel like doing anything about it. I had been doing pretty good about keeping up the house, but this week it has been a disaster.

HL asked what I thought was wrong. I didn't really want to tell him because I didn't want to make him feel bad. He really wanted to know, so I told him. The sappy jewelry commercials KILL me. I just don't understand why I am not engaged yet. It has been almost 5 years and everyone I know around me is getting engaged or married. Most of them have been together a lot less time than HL and I have been. He said that he wanted to do it at Christmas, but we didn't have the money for a ring right now. I understand this to a point, but I also have a real problem with that excuse. He got his $5000 bonus last month and was supposed to use part of that for a ring. Instead, we bought the RV and put $2000 down on his motorcycle. Now, he worked hard for that bonus and it is his money and he could do what he wanted with it, but COME ON. I know I am not going to be an old maid at 23 but I do have goals and plans for my life. I just wished he could understand that this is really hurting my heart.

I don't know if this is the entire reason for my blues since depression runs in my family, but it was nice to get it off of my chest.

I got encouraging news last night. I hit the gym before I headed home and I have lost 5 pounds! In a month. Not as quick as I would like, but it is something, right?

I don't know what my issue is as of late, but I am having very serious self esteem issues. BossMan invited me to this black tie affair next Wednesday and I really want to go. But there is this little voice in my head that is screaming, "You don't belong there! They will eat you alive!" What is wrong with me? I never would have been intimidated before... I think that I have to go just to prove to myself that I can. I will keep you posted...

I have been reading some of my other favorite reads when I realized that everyone includes their kitties in their daily adventures. So allow me to introduce my "kids":

Neopolitan Paws (aka. Neo) She is a three year old tuxedo cat. I found her underneath a dumpster when she was two days old and looked like a drowned rat. I was a truck driver at the time and my boss let her ride in the truck with me because she had to be fed every hour or so. So I rode around to construction sites delivering supplies with a little kitten in the front pocket of my overalls. You should have seen those tough construction workers coo over my kitty (Dirty!). Neo looks like a Siamese, except for her coloring. And she THINKS that she is the queen of the house. And despite her very social early years, she is very anti social to strangers. Not in the hide under the couch kind of way. In the Come-any-closer-and-I-will-snatch-your-ass kind of way. And she definitely loves HammieLove more than me.

Bulldozer Valador (Aka. Dozer) Dozer is almost two, all black, and 22 pounds. But he is not fat! He is just BIG. Do-do is the most docile cat. He is friendly, loves to be pet, and does somersaults onto his back if you do pet him. He never meows, hates to be picked up and is in general a sweetheart. We think he has screwed up depth perception because every time he tries to jump on the counter, he misses by an inch. He is my love right now because he has started to sleep in the really cute Pineapple cat bed that I got for Neo when she was a baby.

Switch E. Roo (aka Switch) Switch is our kitten. She is about 6 months old, and a gray tuxedo cat. And she is LOUD. Switch is the kind of cat that meows just to hear herself meow. She will get lost in the cat box and meow brokenheartedly until someone calls her and then she trots out, happy as a clam. We got Switch on Mother's Day of this year. HL and I happened to be in Petco, when I heard her crying from across the store. I went to see where the crying was coming from, and some employee had her and was wearing a sign that said "Free to a good home" HL said "NO!" because we already had two, but I cried my eyes out and he changed his mind. (Evil women, I know...) He warned me that if she was that loud at home, I would have to sleep in the other room with her. "Oh, no!" I said, "She'll be fine! She is just traumatized right now!" Ha! I wish! That cat has not shut up since! She is a suckler. She gets this certain meow going, crawls up on the bed while you are sleeping and nurses on your fingers. She is relentless and a terror. The only cat that tears up toilet paper (she carries it around like a prize...and a full roll is twice the size of her head. It's hilarious!) She hunts down my feather duster. But she really is most adorable. I think she is a runt because she is still really small and should be near full grown.

So those are our kitties. Didya notice the Matrix theme? We are fans! :)

Switch got sent flying a number of times last night for snitching the bows as I was trying to wrap presents. She knew that she was doing something wrong too! She would be sitting there all prim and proper, tail wrapped around her legs when BAM! she was off with another bow in her mouth! Grrrr... I spanked her a couple of times. I doesn't do any good though. She's a rebel cat...

I had a horrifying experience this weekend.

I found a STRETCH.MARK. on my lower abdomen. Not so bad if you are preggers, but just being a normal, slightly pudgy 23 year old it is HORRIFYING. Granted, they are small, but they are still there. FOREVER. And when I say slightly, I mean slightly. I am not obese by any means! I just don't get it. I haven't gained any weight lately. In fact, I have lost a couple of pounds. What a bummer. Finding Mr. Stretch Mark has kind of sent into a little depression. I went back on Atkins, even though I am not a fan of fad dieting. It works (for the short term at least) and I am hoping that as I lose weight, my workout regimen will keep my weight steady when I re-introduce carbs.

I noticed in the desert that I had wrinkles around my eyes too. I am only 23 people! Is this what happens when you get old? To add insult to injury, I don't get carded EVER anymore. Not even at the grocery store. I always figured bartenders didn't card me because I drink vodka martinis (as opposed to " hee,hee sex on the beach, please!"). At the store though, they are supposed to card you if you look under 30! *sigh* I am just a pudgy-stretch-marked-wrinkled 23 year old. No wonder the holidays are depressing.

As much of a Griswold that I am, the holidays can really depress me. A lot of people I know get engaged over the holidays. Yay for them, but I get so sad because it has been FIVE years with HammieLove and I know why he is waiting and all that jazz, but I wish he would just pop the question already! All the sappy jewelry commercials everywhere you look doesn't help either. Maybe if I wasn't a P-S-M-W 23 y/o he would propose, right? Okay, so I know that is not true, but don't try to rationalize with a PMSing depressed woman.

I have no clue what to get my boss' for Christmas. I mean, these people have astronomical amounts of money. What do you get for the people that have everything?

I am excited because I got HL SECOND ROW seats to see Carlos Mencia for Christmas. BEST. PRESENT. EVER. He is going to be so excited. Aaaannnnddd, I don't know what else to give him. Can we call off Christmas this year? (Unless of course he is going to propose, then it's all good. Now that I am back on this track, Christmas would be a great time to get engaged! ESPECIALLY when you are spending Christmas with your sister in Tucson and you know that their family friend is going to be there. Especially when this "family friend" dated HammieLove right before me--she was the last person he slept with before me. Especially if this who--I mean, family friend spent the next three years throwing herself at HL during every family get together. Now that would be a good time to get engaged.) Me bitter? nooooooo...

I am going to jump out the window. I was in such a good mood this morning because I got laid (first time in 7 weeks--don't ask), I get to work and the shit hits the fan.

There was a fiasco that involved much miscommunication and my dead cell phone. My BossMan gets pissed at me (the only thing that was my fault was my cell phone) reams me and tells me how I --me only me no one else just me-- how I let him down. So we get in this argument and I am dealing with all this this morning when LadyBoss calls me wondering why something wasn't done yet. I tell her to trust me, I have a had a bad morning and I will do it right away, but she is not computing this. Both of them want to be the #1 priority in my life, but that is just physically impossible.

Keep repeating...I love my job, I love my job, I love my job...

And we're off! The holiday season has officially kicked off with "Black Friday." Thank goodness I am 80 miles out in the middle of the desert during BF. No temptation whatsoever when you have your motorcycle screaming in your ear!

I had a fun T-giving. We were out in Ocotillo Wells with HammieLove's fam and our extended desert family. Lots of kids, toys and fun. HL's sister, her husband and three kids came down from Oregon to stay for a spell (they are still here-in our two bedroom apartment-much fun) It is really nice having her down, but some shit was stirred while we were in the desert.

HL and I have a really good friend who is female, pretty and fun. She is equally my friend as she is his. She owns a dune buggy and a Raptor quad and likes working on cars and tomboy stuff like that. She is also fearless and will jump her bike or do dangerous stuff. I, on the other hand, tend to be a little more timid. I will go balls out on my ATC, but it took me a while to get there (and I still get scared sometimes--evidenced by the scrape on my knee when I biffed it going down a hill and had a "Hello ground nice to meet you" moment while my bike found my hips a comfy place to lay upside down on). HL can be a little hard on me, especially when I am being a chicken. He knows if he pushes me, I will get mad and do it to spite him, eventually getting over the fear. But he can also place blame on me for things that I don't necessarily deserve the blame for. (Like being late leaving because "I" wanted to stop for breakfast, not because DBIL had to stop for formula and snacks and took an hour to do so...stuff like that) Well, DSIL got tired of him picking on me (he teases alot--I know this and have come to peace with it, or I give him a piece of my mind when I am tired of it). DSIL got into a screaming match with HL about it and pointed out to him that he treats me like crap but his "protoge" could do no wrong. Part of me had to agree with her, though I generally have no complaints about the way HammieLove treats me. I am always hearing how "Proto" tears it up and how she did this so good and that so well. He never tells me that. I hear about how I don't keep on the throttle enough or whatever. (In my defense, my new CR250 is FAST.) He never mentions that I tear it up on the Hill, while Proto kept burying herself at the top. Not to mention the fact that her bike is the Cadillac of quads. You can barely feel the bumps on that bike, while the bumps will send me ass over teakettle on mine.

I know it doesn't sound like it, but I really never feel jealous of Proto. I know that HL loves me. But sometimes it would be nice to be acknowledged like that. I think that sometimes we are pretty even in a lot of things. I know that if she was a guy, I wouldn't feel competitive with her at all. I think that I need to go back to that way of thinking. She is just like one of the guys when she is with him.

(BTW, for all of you yelling "FOOL!" at me right now, HammieLove would never ever ever ever cheat on me. I am completely and totally secure in this. Trust me.)

Moving on...

I got the first season of Alias on DVD from Netflix. I really want to go home and watch an episode, but our houseguests are still here. I don't even want to imagine the state of my house right now. It took me over an hour to do the dishes last night. Would it be rude to lock myself in my room for an hour to watch it?

Oh, look--time to go home! Bye!