By Request

Believe it or not, I have written a couple of updates over the past week, but my CPU keeps shutting down before they post. Arrgggghhhh...

Training is going well. I am putting in about 6-7 hours at the karate studio and a couple more a week in the gym while I am working. I think that my competition form is starting to come together. My sensei even complimented me on it the other day, which made me feel VERY good. Only three more months until Nationals.

I haven't lost much weight despite the level of exercise I am doing. I know that is partly because I am gaining a ton of muscle. I also figure if I stopped eating chocolate and Mountain Dew for breakfast, I might drop a few more L-B's. Starting Monday (because it is always better to start on a Monday, right?) I am back on my healthy eating plan of five to six small meals a day. That should help jump start my metabolism and get me to my fighting weight.

Can't complain too much since I wore my bikini to the beach last weekend.

The beach. In January. And yes, I went swimming.

The best part was that HammieLove went snowboarding the same day!

Say it with me now...

I love California.

I think I need to change my blog description. There is nothing corporate about me now. Unless you count "coporate drop-out."

I am still looking on the bright side.

Certain things are going my way, if you catch my drift.

I have gotten NO sleep this week but it was all done voluntarily. Two of my friends from the karate studio, BB and SS have become my friends outside of the studio. Since BB was going back to school this week, we went on a partying binge last week. Twice to the club and just out past 2 the other two nights. I barely saw HammieLove at all because our schedules kept conflicting. I am really not used to partying that much but it was definitely fun while it lasted. Especially on Sunday night when we went to a local club on the beach. We danced ourselves silly until 2am and went and jumped in the ocean to cool off afterwards. I went in my boy shorts and top and BB skinny dipped for the first time in her life (she is only 18 but still...) SS (who is a guy) had a fun time watching, I'm sure, but he was brooding about another girl that he digs. I haven't done something crazy like that in a long time and it was so MUCH fun. I love having good and caring friends. And they have my back too! SS is a third degree black belt and world champion martial artist and he is one of the best fighters I have ever seen. He is also sweet and cute too! (Jeez, it is like a personal ad!) BB is a first degree black belt and she is also going to be my senior (or mentor) when start training for my black belt in February. She is also a big fan of Karaoke Revolution, which is another way we pass time!

*whew* One A.M. friendwank! :) It has been nice to have drama-free fun again.

My new meds are working well (can you tell?) Less temper and this is the first night of insmonia I have had in two weeks. HL has definitely been able to see a difference and I know that it has helped him see my points on certain issues because I have been able to present my feelings in a less emotional way. I am glad that he is coming around and to feel his support. I truly have the most wonderful boyfriend in the world. Not everyone can say that --hell there are times when I don't FEEL like saying it -- but it is true. He is loving, kind, supportive, and cute! :) I am lucky and I love him very much.

My best friend from high school that I wrote off in June due to TOO MUCH DRAMA (happens a lot to me...at least my life is never boring, right?) called me this week and left a mesage. I suppose getting closure (or renewal) of our friendship was her New Year's Resolution. I haven't called her back yet because I am not quite sure what I going to say but I think I will tomorrow. It took a lot for her to make contact after six months so I guess I can take the next step. Plus, a lot has happened in six months! My diagnosis and treatment, the subsequent 30 lbs of weight loss, new jobs, new karate studio, new and improved friends. She also moved to New Hampshire and the baby is over a year old, so I know things are different in her life. It would be nice if we could reconcile.

I am going to try and update more. I picked up a new family to nanny for (RICH family...) so I will have a little less time but more money! I am also doing 4-5 classes a week of karate and I started training for Nationals last week, which adds 3 and a half more hours of training on Saturday. I am getting my ass KICKED (I should take a pic of my arm...one of the police officers that works out at the gym offered to pay a call to our house before I told him that one of our fighters bruised me up during sparring) but I am having fun. Three of the senseis that I train with have told me that I have good fighting instincts and should be in top form by April. Also, I am getting into really good physical shape really quickly. I think I'll take before and after pictures! My goal is to look like Jennifer Garner so I can be Elektra for Halloween! (BTW, forget what the critics have said and check out the movie -- it rocked!!)

Rainy Days

Since it doesn't happen so often in San Diego, the rainy days are a nice reprieve from normal life. They present the opportunity to stay inside, cuddle on the couch, and catch up on our Netflix. HammieLove and I have had a quiet and lovely weekend. I feel more at peace than I have in a while and I am definitely savoring the feeling.

My doc switched my meds. He took me off the amphetamine based Adderall and put me on Concerta, which is a name brand of Ritalin. He said that the switch should help with the temper and insomnia. So far I can't tell much of a difference, though I did nap yesterday, which I had found to be difficult on my other meds. I feel calmer also -- almost too calm. I don't mind it and think after six months of being wound tight, the calm is completely unfamiliar. HL has noticed it too. Thank God. :)

I got my DVD copy of Alias in the mail yesterday. Frickin' awesome!! I love the whole throwback to a covert black ops division of the CIA. Thank you JJ for taking us back. The look on Syd's face when she saw the team and asked who assembled it? Priceless.

We also watched Monster today. I can see why Charlize won the Oscar. What a great performance and totally fucked up movie.

I talked to my sensei yesterday and it looks like I am going to start training for Nationals next week. The World Team was training in the gym yesterday during my shift and it looks like I will be joining them to train for Nationals. I want to try out for the World Team so it will be good practice for me. My friend, and Sensei, Travis is making me come to figthing next Saturday. I am intimidated by their fighters but he is going to work with me to get me up to speed. I guess you have to fight at Worlds if you want to compete so I have to get up to snuff. My friend Meagan is going to help me train also. All the training will help get me in shape for my personal training certification. I will be a lean, mean fighting machine!

The whole gym staff is going out dancing on Wednesday night. Since most of them are 18, we had to find a club that had an 18+ night. Travis and I are the only 21+ people going and we have figured out the beauty of having a bunch of 18 year olds go out with us -- built in designated drivers! Woo hoo! We actually might be able to take the team karate van that holds 15 so we can all take one vehicle. Most of the girls have never been to a club before so it will be fun to be the one to take them.

I think I am going to go work on the quilt I am making for HL's sister. Her birthday is in three weeks and I want to have it done by then. :)

So Naughty

I am officially addicted to the makeup counter at Kohl's. I really like every single thing that I have bought from there.

Here is my latest buy:



The lipstick is called So Naughty and I used Sparkling Sugar gloss over it. I finally found a combo that is not overwhelming and it looks like I just ate a bowl of cherries!

Actually, all the makeup I have on is from Kohl's, with the exception of my masacara. I'm addicted.

I sent HammieLove a funny little multimedia message on his phone. I can send slideshows and I did one of me blowing him a kiss and winking at him with appropriate sound effects (mwah, blow, rowr!) Keep him thinking about coming home tonight! Of course, I'll be at karate...

That reminds me! I am competing at the Nationals this year! I am excited and really nervous. My sensei is going to teach me the signature form for our dojo and it is HARD! It is really pretty though and I can't wait to learn it!

Off to my nanny gig...

I LOVE TWOP!!

One of the wonderful TWoPpers has answered my call and my HDTV, commercial free version of the Alias Premiere is on its way! Cost me $5 (and I promised to name my first born for her -- thanks Julie! We'll see what HammieLove has to say about that!) Five dollars is WELL worth it. I threw in an extra five for a tip because, well, I love Alias. It's a sickness.

A sickness I don't need a pill for. Thank God.

I just need my SpyDaddy.

Cocky Doesn't Become Me

I can blog during Alias because I have TIVO. I am so special because I can fast forward through commercials. Hammie LOVES TiVO.

Yeah, so TiVo was set to record ABCW on my DirecTV instead of my local ABC affiliate. Since I don't HAVE ABCW, my wonderful TWO HOUR SEASON PREMIERE of Alias is a recording of:

To Order This Channel, Please Call Customer Service at 1-800-YOU-SUCK!!!

I seriously almost started crying.

I will beg, borrow, steal, pay money if someone has a recording of the season premiere. PLEASE. I can't believe I have been waiting since May and this happened to me.

HELP!

Moving On

For those of you who were wondering, the entirely dignified, professional, and gramatically correct comments below were composed so poetically by my business partner, Desiree.

Give the girl a hand.

Let's move on to something more important, shall we?

I heard from David today! Not that he is off the hook or anything, ESPECIALLY since he is already back in Boston and couldn't find it in his busy schedule to visit his dear old friend when he was home for winter break.

But I'll forgive him. Because he is my homie. :)

He and his girly have moved in together though. *yay* If there is one person in my world (there are a lot more than one but bear with me) who deserves to be happy, it is him. Congrats, sweetie ( and your sweetie!). *mwah* Your ass better be home for summer though. :)

I am waiting patiently for TiVo to get past most of the commercials in the TWO HOUR ALIAS SEASON PREMIERE so I can fast forward through them all. Hammie loves her some TiVo!

HL hurt his ankle when he crashed his bike over New Year's. Poor dear is in so much pain! He had Monday and Tuesday off because of the rain but had to work in the mud today. He is not a happy camper! I made him a special dinner tonight and plyed him with Kendall Jackson Chard. He is having sweet dreams right now! I (for once) didn't crash this weekend. I didn't ride as much as I normally do since I was hanging out with my sis but no crashing is good! I did get to try out my friend's TRX450 (the quad I am coveting). I loved it! I checked out the Cycle Trader today and I am SURE that I will have mine by the end of the desert season. I am hoping to pay cash but if I have to finance a couple of grand, I'll manage. I can't wait to get my bike though! HL said I could sell my CR250 to help buy the quad and that brings me even closer.

This is going to be the best year ever.

I decided to sell my half of Born Dirty. HammieLove and I argue over it a lot because his friend, who is my business partner, treats me like shit. I am sick and tired of dealing with immaturity while I am trying to run a business. Besides, making sure that my relationship remains healthy and intimate is WAY more important than business. I think I have been remiss in allowing her to become such an integral part of our daily lives and now have to scramble to correct that.

I can't WAIT for Alias tonight!! Make sure to tune in!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

I hope everyone had a wonderful and safe holiday weekend! I spent the weekend in the desert with my desert family. A great new addition to my desert family was members of my REAL family -- my big sis and her hubby and two girls drove out from AZ to spend the weekend with us. The even better news was that they LOVED it and are now planning on buying a toy hauler, dune buggy and motorcycles! My nieces were absolute naturals on the little dirt bikes that we borrowed for them. They can't wait to go to school and show off their battle scars from all the little tumbles they took. We are so proud of them! I never thought that my OCD big sister would love being in a place that makes complete cleanliness impossible but she was totally at home in her do-rag and desert clothes. I used their bathroom to wash my hair (a girl has got to draw the line somewhere, right?) and I was stressed about getting some dirt on the floor (I am telling you she is ANAL) but when I went to go get the little sweeper thingy, she told me not to worry about it! You could have knocked me over with a feather.

We had such a great time.

I am excited about the new year. I want this to be the best year of my life. I have a job (or jobs) that I love and that I am good at. I have an ambition as far as becoming a personal trainer that I am passionate about. I have the man of my dreams and a family that loves me. It WILL be a good year.

To kind of nudge the good year along, or at least get it off to a good start, I am going back to the shrink. My ADD meds have made my temper go awry and have made my anxiety levels sky rocket. I thought that the depression and other things that were bothering me last year were due to my undiagnosed ADD but I now seeing that those things are still under the surface and causing me to be a different person -- a person that I don't necessarily like. I know how clear I think when I am on my meds but I almost think that I would give that up to be the mellow, laid back kind of girl I was before. I know that HammieLove misses that girl too. I hate to think that I am going to have to take a medication for anxiety, or depression, or both, on top of my ADHD meds. I am hoping the my doc will be able to find alternate methods or medications that will be able to fix me without having to turn my system into a medicine cabinet.

I am considering going on the Feingold diet. It is a diet that eliminates preservatives and other chemicals from your daily eating habits. The Feingold diet has proven an effective way to treat children with ADHD, high functioning autism (HFA), and other neurological disorders. Some children don't need meds while they are following the FD. It has not proved as effective as medication with adults because our neurotransmitters are more hard wired since we are older and it is more difficult to affect their functioning without stimulants or other drugs. I figure since I am going to be a personal trainer and pushing myself to get into the proper shape for that, eating a more natural and organic diet can't be a bad thing in any case.

I found a picture of me from this time last year that I will post later. HL grabbed and shoved it in my face and asked "Do you see a difference now?" This time last year, I was 30 pounds heavier. I look at other pictures and I don't see the difference. This one I was able to. I'll post the before and after in another post.

We are off to see Meet the Fockers. I wasn't a HUGE fan of Meet the Parents, but I'll give this one a shot since HL really wants to see it. I want to see Spanglish. Or Lemony Snicket. I just found out that I have Wednesday off though, so maybe I will have a matinee marathon and see all the movies I want to see. Then I'll come home and wait anxiously for a new episode of Lost and ....


ALIAS SEASON PREMIERE BABY!!! WOOHOO!!